Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.
If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
More Jokes & Images
- Answers That Will Give You Laughter Aches
- Things Only In America
- Playing With Pussy
- Marriage Proposal
- Funny Questions
- A Farmer Husband
- People Reading Newspapers
- Married Couple
- When Men And Women Gets Haircut
- Sessions In Memory Clinic
- Old Motor
- A Babysitter – Horribly Funny!!
- Engineering Tool names explained
- Woman Meets A Bartender
- Yellow Dot Disappear
- Neighbour’s Cows
- Weight Loss
- Serious Sleeping Problems
- The Best Joke You Can Make With His Best Friend On His Wedding Day
- A Laughing Baby
- The Worlds Best Pickup Lines
- Blonde Plays Nude
- Funny Farting Experience Lol!
- Flight To Sweden
- Rattlesnake Bites
- Alligator In Bar
- Funny and Effective Proposals
- Funniest Facts About Woman
- Sex In The Desert
- Computer Lab Pranks
- Waiter With Spoons
- Blade Penis Sex
- Funny Definitions
- English Is Difficult