-The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

–The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.

–The Washington Post is read by people who think they ought to run the country.

–USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t understand The Washington Post.

–The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could spare the time.

–The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.

–The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country.

–The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country, as long as they do something scandalous.

–The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country, or that a country is a good idea in the first place.

–The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country.

–The Chicago Tribune is read by people who live in the Midwest, which readers of the other newspapers don’t think is part of the country.

Because they have big fingers

ohcan eseehc (read it inverse)

klim deliops ( read it inverse )

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

If you take a Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he become disoriented?

Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

What do chickens think we taste like?

What do people in China call their good plates?

What do you call a male ladybug?

What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald
man?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time
it was to set it to?

Which is the other side of the street?

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why don’t they call mustaches “mouthbrows?”