Once there were three friends lost in a jungle and were attacked by the tribal people who eat men. The Chief of the tribe said “All your lives will be spared if you do what I ask to.” The three friends agreed. All of them were told to collect 10 each of any one fruit they find in the jungle. The first friend came up with apples. The Chief told him to dump those ten apples in his butts without showing any expressions on his face. The first friend couldn’t bear the pain and started crying ending in death after the first apple.
Now we see the second friend coming up with grapes. The chief told the same thing to the second friend. He started dumping those grapes in his but but by no reason started laughing after the 9th grape and died of his uncontrollable laughter. The first two friends met each other in heaven now. The first friends asked the second that “What the hell made you laugh? It was just one grape you would have lived. He said “I couldn’t help myself because I saw the third friend coming up with pineapples.”
There was a sad talk going on between an olive, a penis and a cucumber. Cucumber say to olive and penis “My life sucks!! When I get big, fatty and juicy they cut me and use me in the salad.” The olive says “That’s All? When I get big, fatty and juicy they cut me in small pieces and use me in pizzas.” Now the penis turns up and says “Huh!! You think you both had it all….When I get big, fatty and juicy they put me in a bag, throw me in a dark hole and shut the doors till I vomit. LOL!!
A couple is celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. The woman tells her husband that “I will be cooking a great feast tonight and we will do all that we did on our first night and will eat on the dinner table with candles sitting naked in front of each other.” The husband agrees and they now both sit for their dinner sitting completely naked. The woman while both were having their meal tells her husband that “My tits our as hot for you as they were fifty years ago and my nipples are as hot as soup.” The husband looks at her and says “That’s because you’re nipples are in sitting in your soup Honey!.” Lol!
There is this man and a woman who meets for the first time in a hospital. The man asks the woman “What are you here for?”
The woman replies “Well I am here to donate blood. They give $5 for it.” The man say “OK!! Well I am here to donate sperms they give me $25 for it.”
The woman thinking for a while donate her blood and then goes. After a week or so they both meet again. The man says “Hmm.. So you are here to donate blood. Right?” The woman with her mouth full nodding her head in a no no says “Unh! Unh!” LOL!
There is deaf couple who are trying to have sex. Coz they are deaf they are unable to explain each other with their sign language as lights remain off when they want to sex. So the wife came up with an idea. She tells her husband with the sign language that “When you want to sex me grab my left breast and squeeze once and if you don’t wanna then hold my right breast and squeeze once.” Husband find it a great idea tells her “Well then if you wanna have sex with me then get your hand in my underwear grab my penis and pull out once and if you don’t wanna have sex then pull out fifty times..” LOL!!